Metal Meredith

I am cleaning out old emails and just came across one from October 2004. A guy had purchased a book from me off Amazon. He was intrigued by the screen name and was just being friendly, asking what other books I would recommend. The book he purchased was “How to Make Love Like a Porn Star” by Jenna Jameson, which is why this is all so funny. Anyway, this is more for me to remember the things that I liked to read and less for you to actually learn something from.

>From: “Meredith Hertzler”
>To: “doug rich”
>Subject: Re: “How to make love like a porn star”
>Date: Sat, 30 Oct 2004 10:06:35 -0400
>
>I am sorry it took so long for me to respond! Damn inbox. Always losing my
>mail....
>
>I am not sure what your idea of my screen name is, but what it comes down
>to is this: Its an old nickname that I was given at 17 in 1989. I was very
>much into the metal music scene. I was all glam metal, not the scary Slayer
>stuff. So, that’s where it came from. Fifteen years later, my husband
>decided to create a web page for me and my future child. This is the name
>he chose. Since its not that usual, its an easy one to use on Amazon and
>the like.
>As far as the book, I have been intrigued with Jenna every since she was on
>E! doing the Cannes coverage. I thought she was hilarious. I couldn’t tell
>you if I have seen even one of her movies, but I think she is pretty cool.
>I read it in about 4 days, which was quite amusing to my husband. I also
>had to forewarn him that the book was not instructional, which he also got
>a kick out of....
>
>As for other books I have enjoyed, I love the autobiography and the like.
>If you are truly into THAT kind of metal and not others *ehem*, I would
>recommend the Motley Crue book “Dirt”, Kiss and Make-Up by Gene Simmons,
>David Lee Roth’s Crazy from the Heat, and Fargo Rock City by Chuck
>Klosterman. Fargo Rock City is one of the best books I have read in years.
>Its laugh out loud funny and caused me to do a lot of reminiscing.
>
>Others for fun, Bebe Beull’s autobio (She is such an idiot, but she had sex
>with everyone, so it seems), Pamela Des Barres “I’m with the Band” is a
>great indulgant treat into bedside manners of the 70 rock icon. Marilyn
>Manson’s Autobio is great too, although its been said that its half
>lies.....Jacob Slichter’s “So you Wanna Be a Rock and Roll Star” is a bio
>about being signed and the trip Semisonic took through the entertainment
>industry before and after their big “hit”. Since I worked in the record
>industry, this was just another story of a band that got screwed. Jacob
>does a great job at conveying the emotional roller coaster.
>
>Not sure if this is the metal you are referring to. If so, please pass on
>any recommendations that you might have.
>
>Thanks for the nice note.
>Meredith

One of the ladies observing Vivienne’s after school Science class stopped me on the way out to say how smart Vivienne is. Now, I am apparently psychologically unable to brag about my children. But damn, that felt really good to hear. 

Maybe this will give you an idea of my recent days.

-The Proposal = Meh.
-Just another normal Friday night.
-Sometimes it doesn’t take much to make me cry.
-MMmmm. Made Applewood smoked cheddar, bacon and apple paninis for dinner. And they were delicious.
-Damn, I know one 10 year old and one 6 year old that need to be given sensitive ears. They talk SO LOUD.
-Roasting peppers for the first time. Smells good, looks scary. I think I am doing it right, then.
-Finally gave away a 1980’s classic this week. Goodbye lovely old, dated friend. ( Sandy Grow do you remember buying this for me?)
-This is the annoyance that my children are in love with. Thanks Bethany White Dinger !
-Taking Henry to the dentist at 1230p. May the force be with us (and the hygenist, who must clean a screeching, thrashing boy’s teeth).
-Having an 80’s “Say Anything” moment as “In Your Eyes” plays at Home Depot.
- just accidentally went out for 2 hours without my phone. Experienced only periods of anxiety instead of constant worry. Making progress.
-Solo-parenting it today with the promise of back-to-school on the horizon after a long but mostly fun Spring Break.
- is sitting down to watch Invention of Lying and hope it is as funny as it looks.
- Circus!
-At the circus
- Claritin, flonase, motrin, cough gels, cough drops.... Take that pollen!
-LA LA LA Kids back to school! What a wonderful day....
-And I want to thank you, Ray Don, on behalf of all the women in the world, for your unfailing attention and concern. But read my lips and remember, as hard as it is to believe, sometimes we like talking just to each other, and sometimes we like just being alone. - Julia Sugarbaker
-No more outside for me until it rains and washes the layer of pollen off the entire east coast of the US. See you Friday!
-I love it!
-Meeting Phil for lunch!
-trying to gear up for another Spring Break day with children. Its 10:30 and we are all just wasting time on the sofa and computer and tv. Hump day, fo’ sho’.
-We all got to see the first egg hatch this afternoon thanks to Celeste Lawton! It was pretty cool!
-Vivienne informed me that today at her school would have been PE day. So we are at the park PE’ing.
-Getting out before it gets too hot.
-Nice weather, family playground time.
-Yes, yes! Philip Hertzler gave me a tiny blowtorch for Xmas one year. I think its time to break that out!
-Note to future self: headphones on children = travel bliss.
-What a wonderful resource! I know I could have used this once in my life as a cat owner (thus far). Please pass it on to your fellow cat owners!
-Just made kids eat bananas to counteract a morning of chocolate.
-Works on so many levels.
-Easter dinner with Mom and Grandma!
-Cinnamon Dulce Latte ... Good Morning!!

What I did in March:

-headache.
-Why not?
-is looking forward to opening the windows for a few days.
-"TeaBonics" - What a wonderful way to start this morning!
-Oh Peeps, how I love you so.
-Dinner with friends!
-does not like the dentist. Not at all.
-For you Ronni McCord Murden, because you are my friend and I KNOW that you will appreciate this as much as I do.
-I am like a proud mom! Congrats Ricky Martin!
-"Copy and paste this as your update” is the new Facebook black.
-"Chosen for what, Almighty Gurkin?”
-Breakfast with the family.
-Phil’s awesome 1980’s bunny cellular phone.
-Phil made bread.
-Henry’s awesome bed head.
-Has proof that Vivienne’s teacher is more than 10 years younger than me. Like the lifespan of a middle schooler younger. Like born when I was listening to Guns and Roses, younger.
-Everyone in the house is well rested. Its pretty amazing.
-"You mind if I rock that bad Larry on my dome?”
-Dinner is much safer now that Vivienne has the required eyewear.
-Thinks my head needs to take a break from Politics. I can’t handle the inability to converse, co-exist and act more like adults that children (on both sides).
-Has just decided that I need to own the complete Friends series of DVDs.
-Let’s count and see how many 40 min increments of sleep I can string together tonight! One down, awakened by screeching, half asleep child who needed to pee and kept awake by newly slumbering husband with massive snore.
-Q: “You think I smother our child?” A: “It’s not your fault, honey. Mother is part of the word. You never hear of anyone being sfathered to death.”
-Getting some dinner with the kids.
-A day full if surprises! Thanks Mom for the pretty “no occasion” flowers.
-I am going to take a nap. Please don’t bother me.
-is feeling very sorry for myself after getting only a handful of sleep due to an ear infection for Henry. I predict a weepy, slow day.
-If I lived closer to an IKEA, I would absolutely go there tomorrow for a ‘mental health day’ and spend the entire day perusing the new stuff and eating meatballs with lingonberries.
-Dear Summer,
Typically I don’t care all that much for you. But this year I am looking forward to my vacation. Please hurry.
Thanks, Meredith
-"I’m surprised,” Kaine said. “I thought Ken had his hands full discriminating against people and raising wacky questions about President Obama’s birth certificate.” - Thanks Bobbie for pointing this out.
-Phil and Vivienne are unable to use the Shuttle Launch tickets for 4/5. Anyone out there want to go? We have one complete package for one adult and one child. Email me or Send me a note!
-These “Your Baby Can Read” commercials infuriate me. Why would I want my 9 month old to read? Simply for bragging rights? To write an amazing Christmas letter? No thanks.
-Always feels a bit sinister sneaking medicine into Henry’s juice boxes. But neither of my kids take medicine without restraint or hiding it.
-Also could be called the “cargo sofa”. Philip Hertzler, what do you think?
-It’s raining, with just a little thunder and lightning. My windows are open and the breeze smells wonderful. I am in the minority, but what a great day!
-Time for bed, sadly. Now, go make history while I sleep, dammit!
-“The G.O.P. used to stand for the Grand Old Party. Now it stands for grandstand, oppose and postpone.” David M. Herszenhorn
-So very good. 5 new songs to preview before new album April 19th. Listen now!
-After watching Ren & Stimpy: “Mom, what’s mutate mean?” Um, possibly too early for R&S?
-Goodies for kids from Grandma!
-Come on, Phil. What’s taking so long with the coffee errand this morning?
-Windows open.
-At the grocery store listening to Flock of Seagulls.
-Trying this place out.
-72 and sunny.
-Spring!
-"Because its the right thing to do.” - I love this saying and how many times I have heard it this week.
-Phil is “The Business Witch”.
-Making this for dinner right now!
-Movie successful thus far: 10, 7 and 6 year olds happily watching The Princess and the Frog with nary a peep.
-Appeasing the savage children.
-Two girls in the back seat are “so bored” waiting for this train to pass by slowly. Poor things.
-School half-day today. That sucks.
-Enjoyed a dinner of green pancakes, green milk, grapes and green vanilla pudding. Now, I am done with St Pats Day. G’Night!
-better?
-This is just awesome. So much better than holding signs and trying to fight crazy with intelligence. RVA raised $14k for local charities targeted by WBC.
-Toothless monkeys
-Sadly, I do not wear green. I am not Irish and have no love for beer. I fail at St Pattys.
-Day 3 of DST: Waking up a little easier. Going to bed still a challenge. Happy St Patricks Day!
-Lost was goooooood. Well, maybe the preview for next week was the real excitement. But even bad Lost is still better than most TV. (And Sawyer with no shirt and a police badge didn’t hurt.)
-I will try my best to never again make fun of my friends who have crushes on Zac Efron and Robert Pattison.
-High Point: Finding chicken breast for $1.88 lb. Low Point: Realizing cheap chicken is a high point.
-Day 2 of early morning waking up made more difficult by time change. Another late wake up, still groggy 1.5 hours later.
-It’s always nice to wall outside and smell something yummy, only to realize it’s coming from your house.
-How is it almost 2pm? I can’t believe how hard it is this year.
-..beware the Ides of March.....
-Ick. Monday morning came too early.
-Is wondering why most of us don’t see ourselves as others do. We are our own worst critics.
-First thunderstorm of the year. Zzzzzzzzzzz.
-Phil wants to be Night Rider.
-Car Show
-is perched on the computer waiting to register Vivienne for summer camp. I bet I am not alone.
-School Dance… Yay
-Henry is excited about his new robot shirt. Just a shirt with a robot on it. I am going to find something that easy to be excited about today.
-I can tell its almost spring from the sound of the woodpecker that is amusing himself by constantly rattling the chimney cap.
-Wicked was awesome last night. I do highly recommend it to anyone considering going. Off to iTunes now, to download some music!
-so tired. Interrupted sleep for 4 days starting to take its toll. I am excited to see Wicked tonight but mourn the resulting loss of sleep, even if it is just an extra hour or so.
-is gonna watch Lost in a bit. Waiting for that first 20 minutes to pass so we can watch commercial free. Getting some ice cream and a brownie (thanks Melissa Wilson McDaniel!) Yum!
-just received my first phone call ever from my daughter, letting me know she got to a friend’s house ok and was eating a cupcake. How funny!
-I have 4 bags of clothing and toys heading out the door to donate today. Another bag of each went to the consignment store. Phil is selling a few things on Craigslist. Hooray Spring!
-Dearest Facebook Friends, I an effort to sheild those who find my game updates annoying, I mistakenly blocked a few of you from my wall and updates. This wasn’t done on purpose. I hope that I have fixed all those that were blocked by accident. It wasn’t intentional. You will most certainly know when it is. HA! - Meredith
-Listening to Madonna’s “where’s the party” while shopping = bliss!
-I won’t complain about a quiet night alone in the house with just me and sleeping kids. Caught up on some TV, had some ice cream, heading to bed now.
-Hooray!
-Amazing, astounding. Will buy the record just because I applaud their effort to be interesting.
-Henry just came up to me and placed a crown on my head. Seeing that it was too small, he says “Oh no Mom, it doesn’t quite fit you.” What 3 year old says “quite”?
-Thanks Phil
-Listening to my kids have a conversation is like listening to my grandparents bicker. You have no idea who is right and who is wrong but are certain both of them are slightly insane.
-"which hand on the clock goes around faster? explain.” is hard for a 6 year old to grasp. Kinda hard for me to explain in kid terms, too.
-This is totally unacceptable, considering there is no problem with the Pro-Life plates funding the Crisis Pregnancy Center. Why the double standard? Its an outrage!
-I have one ticket for WICKED at the Landmark on Wed, March 10 at 7:30pm. It is Orch B, Row E.... Excellent seats! One of my family members can’t go and I don’t want have this ticket go unused! Make me an offer.... I can take Paypal!
-Just in case anyone wanted to apologize.
-Such a smart man.
-Shoes tied by Vivienne!