Metal Meredith

For those friends and family, especially the other moms I know, I promise I do have feelings and emotions. I know at this moment, when I am bursting with joy and overflowing with excitement at the prospect of both of my children being in school within the next two weeks, you must think that I am void of any real feelings. But I am not. Promise.

Here is the thing. I just don’t get all weepy over the normal things that I am apparently supposed to. I will fully admit to rolling my eyes at the parents of the kids starting preschool, crying as they dropped their children off. Maybe Vivienne made it easy for me? Her rather uneventful departure and lack of need for me was quite pleasing when she was 2. We didn’t go through a big separation anxiety period with her until, well, this summer. By then, it was annoying and I didn’t care at all. These past few weeks, I have read about parents tearing up at the very thought of the school bus, at their little baby being in a grown up school all day with (gasp!) bigger kids. I smile politely when I talk to parents that ask me “I am so sad. What will I do all day without my baby around? I will be so lonely without him/her.” Then I turn and put my finger down my throat and feign gagging. Sorry, I am a big ol’ meanie like that.

In all honesty, I am so excited for my Vivienne. I am thrilled about what she will learn, the new things she will do, the new skills she will master. Phil and I both were darn right giddy when we went into the art room. We both have fond memories of using all the Tempera paint and paper mache and sculpting clay. Even the smell had me swooning. Then there are the library books, the computers, the triple lines on the paper for big and little letters and those huge pencils. We bought her markers and pencils and a composition book! Compositions! I love that.

Henry is next, so there is still time. Perhaps Henry will cause my motherly instincts to kick in? Will he be the kid that causes me to openly cry as I am leaving him, reaching for me? Who knows if I will fill my eyes with tears the moment I see the bus coming to carry off my first born? Maybe I will sit at home and weep as I think of her in that great big school. I think I will, but it will be from happiness. And I will be sitting, but on the toilet, in a rare moment of peeing alone that I have not had in 5 long years. That, my friends, is what will make the tears flow. 

Vivienne remains unphased. She tried, but thankfully failed last year, to avoid turning 4 years old. It was months of her insisting that she would not turn 4, would not blow out candles, would not allow us to sing for her. We did it all anyway.

This year, she grasped the reigns of her birthday and ran full force with it. We had one of those giant parties with a lot of kids. It was actually a lot of fun and painless in all areas but the wallet. However, I did not have to lift a finger to do more than go down a giant slide, press the button of a camera and make sure the grin on my child’s face never disappeared.

It is not hard to believe she is 5. After all, our lives have changed so much since she came into the world. I tried to tell her tonight about what was happening 5 years ago at her bedtime tonight. She just listened and then asked, when will I be 7? How about 9? When will I turn 15?

I just smiled. Took a much needed deep breath and told her to slow down and go to sleep. 

Vivienne was on Spring Break this past week. Add that to the previous week where she was off 4 days for the tonsillectomy, she has had just too much time with her little brother. I was too often hearing that she just didn’t like him and then letting out a big disappointed sigh when he was brought downstairs in the morning or after a nap.

Yesterday, when Henry was on the sofa watching something riveting like “Barney”, Vivienne surprised me by plopping down next to him. At first it was a no-go with lots of elbow fighting and whining.  Soon things settled down, as seen by my attempt at getting a photo where they were both looking at me and smiling.

This article made me smile. I still watch Mr Rogers from time to time. Not sure why, but I was kind of surprised that I knew all the words to the songs he sang. It still warms my heart to watch the show.

Wear a sweater, honor Mr. Rogers

Event aimed at paying tribute to children’s TV pioneer who died 5 years ago
The Associated Press

PITTSBURGH - A tribute to children’s public television pioneer Fred Rogers will include an effort to get people everywhere to wear a sweater on what would have been his 80th birthday. March 20th is being promoted as “Sweater Day” to honor Rogers, who died of cancer five years ago. A sweater was his trademark garb on “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood.” David Newell, who played speedy deliveryman Mr. McFeely on the show, appears in a YouTube video that touts the event. “Sweater Day” is the capstone to a six-day celebration planned by Family Communications Inc. of Pittsburgh. Rogers created the company to produce his show.