Metal Meredith

It might not be designer worthy just yet. But if you were to come to my house, you would have a place to sleep. That in itself is a bit of a surprise to me.

When we moved in, we went from a 900 sq ft house with a 800 sq ft attic, to a 1700 sq ft house with a 200 sq ft attic. We didn’t have the space to store all those things that I needed but didn’t need. Or really all that crap from my days at the record company that I was going to sell on eBay to pay bills. I already did that and now I am down to crap that I just don’t feel like going through.

However, from June 2005 to March 2008, it has changed quite a bit.

BEFORE:

AFTER:

We are not big on the “Christmas threw up in my yard” look. We have a demure and simple strand of muliti-color (LED) lights draped across our roof line. We have a wreath on the front door with a bow. That’s about it.

*Not in our yard*

Phil likes to remind me that sticking a plastic bag on your front lawn and plugging a fan into it, no matter what its shape once inflated, isn’t a talent. I have requested a few other simple things like one lighted tree in the yard or one snowflake hanging on the house. We always say we will pick something up after the holidays when it goes on sale, but we never do. Who wants to shop for all of that crap when you just want to put it away for 11 months?

I came across this site today which made me laugh out loud a few times. They give citations to houses that over decorate or decorate with little or no thought beforehand. My favorite is “Intermingling” where people add Santa into their twinkling Nativity Scene or a “Multiple Clauses Violation” when they have placed 5 Santas of different sizes and shapes on the lawn.

We always enjoy going to see the lights, driving by while Vivienne screams loudly about what she sees and Phil and I sit in awe over all of the crap these people pull out each year. Good for them! We won’t be on the Tacky Lights Tour for years and years to come. 

I don’t look forward to Christmas decorations. For the past 5 years, it has been a chore to get the tree up.

I remember while pregnant with Vivienne, Phil and Ronni planned to get me out of the house so Phil could put the tree up and surprise me. I wasn’t about to take that on feeling as bad as I did.

The next year, when Vivienne was 6 months old and I bought a mini red foil tree and put it up long enough to fake Christmas photos for my family (sorry Mom). She was too young to care and I was in the midst of discovering my Post Partum Depression. I was in no mood to decorate.

The year after was the first ‘fun’ one with Vivienne. She was really excited about the holiday so we did the whole tree thing. But my lovely white Christmas tree was found yellowed and sad in its box. I made up for it by donating it to a woman who had Down’s syndrome and finally was living in her first apartment. She loved Elvis so I gave her the tree and the lights and she had her own ‘Blue Christmas”. Then we bought the one we have now. The plain, green, fake tree.

The next year we were in our new house but it still felt like we had just moved in. The most it seems I have done in the past years consistently was the tree and the stockings. Vivienne was in full swing that year and it was a joy just to enjoy her.

Last year, I was about to pop with Henry. I wasn’t in a nice place but still managed to set up the tree and have a decorating party with Vivienne. She loved every moment of it and was really proud of her ability to decorate.

This year, I had a grand idea that I wanted new stockings. I had a vision in mind about what they looked like, a cross between a Nordic wool and a Dr Suess sock. I found them. 

Aren’t they nice? I thought they were perfect. And then they arrived in the mail:

Um, do you think they make the fireplace look small?

Most of the people who know me already know that I do not drink or do drugs and although I have a high affection for dough nuts, I am not addicted to much of anything. But when it comes to getting a deal, I am the first person to get a little high knowing how much I can potentially save.

I have had to talk myself down a few times (as well as talk Phil down) from the familiar “Looked how much I could save!!” on things that we do not need. But for some reason, when it comes to Craigslist, I have to stop myself numerous times a day.

The truth is, 99% of the stuff on Craigslist is crap. I am utterly amazed that people own the things they do, much less are trying to sell them. Just this morning, I have found 3 the ugliest fabrics I have ever seen:

That last one, it has a huge tear on the top. Why would someone be looking for a torn piece of furniture? Especially not one with any sort of design cred or real potential. It baffles me, but I cannot stop looking.

I have bought and sold a lot of things on Craigslist. We have even resorted to saying we are “leasing” items instead of buying because when we are done with them, there is a better than not chance that they will end up being sold online.