Metal Meredith

SNDM Weblog

I am so very pleased to be able to bring this new blog to you. After all, I have been wanting to share this group of people with everyone for quite a while. For anyone who has heard me tell stories and reference them to my ‘Mom Message Board’ “My online friends”, then you will be pleased to learn that they are all real people. I wasn’t making them up, they are not invisible.

Please stop by and take a read. Sit and hang out a while. Leave comments on the posts. I know we will all be thrilled to have a new audience for our stories, ideas and advice.

http://sndm.net

In late 2002, I found out I was expecting my first child. I was terrified and overjoyed, but mostly terrified. So I did what any internet addict would do, I searched all over to find out information.

In doing so, I stumbled upon BabyCenter’s birth month section. Each month and year has its own message board. New mothers and mothers-to-be all join these boards looking for comfort, ideas, friendship, help and laughter. Mostly, they are looking for someone to share the pregnancy with that is going through exactly what they are.

I logged on to the June 2003 section in December of 2002. Mostly, I just read posts and laughed. I picked out the people I identified with and the ones I was scared of. I was addicted to it and read it all day long in between emails and phone calls at work. It wasn’t long before I started posting, made a few friends and was in on all the inside jokes.

After we all had our babies, we started getting closer. We had online chat times when up to 20 of us would do instant chat on the site and our personalities really started shining through. Then, all hell broke loose.

The problem with the internet is almost the same as the advantage; one can remain as nameless and distant as possible without feeling the real-life rudeness and discomfort of others. Along with this distance comes the real possibility of hurt feelings, people stirring up crap with others and being downright mean.

One of the members decided to branch out and create a place where the only initial rule was ‘respect each other’. Soon, we grew to 60 people and she gave us the name “So Not Drama Mammas”.

Since that time, I have spent 2 years getting to know many women that I would have never taken the time to speak to in person. In this situation, I was allowed to ‘listen’ to others opinions, voices and experiences without having to offer up feedback. I was able to share my experiences, as little or as much detail as I wanted, without worrying about someone being hurtful. We all felt safe.

I can honestly say that I have grown as a human in the past two years because of the friendships I have made with the SNDMs. I enjoy these women so much that I wanted to offer a space for all of them to share their voices with the world. So, I asked Phil (my wonderful web designer husband), to help me make this site.

Hopefully, as more people read and see this version of the SNDMs, they will also come to appreciate the universality of motherhood, love and family.

Between Vivienne and Phil

Vivienne: Where’s Daddy?
Me: I think he is in the bathroom.

--She heads toward the bathroom and I hear a door open--

Vivienne: Whatcha doin’ Daddy?
Phil: Peeing.
Vivienne: Good job, Daddy.
Phil: Thanks, Baby.
Vivienne (clapping): Great job flushing, Daddy.
Phil: Thanks, Vivienne.
Vivienne: You are a big girl!!!
Meredith (laughing hysterically): Yes Phil, you are a big girl.

I always knew Phil was a big girl, I have been telling him for years.

And I am so tired....

We left the Park Hotel (or the PH for Phil) this morning at 9am with a nice European breakfast in our tummies. We took a tram and a train to get to the plane to ride 8 hours to get on a shuttle to wait in 90 minutes in customs to drive 2 hours to get home at 7pm EST, which is 1am Amsterdam time. My god...we are so tired that I am seeing double and am dizzy from all the travel.

I won’t be doing an extensive update but feel the need to boast a little on my husband. Not only did he give me a fabulous vacation for my anniversary, while we were gone he won First Place, Eight Place and Tenth Place in the Expression Engine Web Design Shootout.

I am just so proud and Phil is so excited. If nothing else, it was a giant cherry on the sundae that was our holiday. I cannot pile the praise on high enough to show my appreciation, respect and love for my wonderful husband.

Gushing over. More updates coming as soon as we recover and lost more photos from the last three days. 

Phil’s Day

We missed breakfast, again. It was 9am when I woke Phil up this morning. We got up and got dressed and went to the Ship Museum. We had a tiny breakfast snack at the museum and them walked around and looked at the exhibits.

Phil thought it was pretty cool. I thought it was ok. There were a lot of model ships and boats, a lot of maps and seafaring tools. The best part was the replication of a real ship that you could board and tour. Phil and I both acted the part of the captain for a few moments.

We them took a tram to the Royal Palace Square and ate lunch at this little café called St Paul’s. I had a Salmon, Mozzarella and Pesto Crostini. It was so good that I wanted to eat three of them. I also had ‘fizzy water’ with cassis to drink. Essentially, it was a soda water with syrup. But, it was fancier than a Coke, so it was nice.

We braved the cold again afterwards to go see the teeny house, a house that is only as wide as the front door. I can’t imagine living there, as you wouldn’t be able to have a sofa or a double bed.

Phil wanted to go to the Rijksmuseum, where there was a Rembrandt exhibit. I went along and looked at all the fancy art. We got stuck behind an Italian tour group of teenagers that seemed very bored. It was interesting to a point, but by then my feet felt like they would just fall off.

We had Thai food for dinner for our last big meal of the vacation. In all this eating out, we realized there are many differences from eating in the US. Mostly, the waitresses leave you alone until you ask them for something. It works well when you want to sit and enjoy your company without the constant interruption of the staff. We had to adjust our way of thinking in order to stop a waitress and not feel rude. But all in all, we like this system better.

We are all packed now and ready to leave in the morning. I am not looking forward to our 8 hour plane ride with the 2 hour car trip before getting home. But I am looking forward to sleeping in my own bed, cooking in my own kitchen and being alone for more than a few minutes at a time. I am excited to see my Vivienne and hear about her week without her parents. Although I don’t have much faith that she will tell me about it. She tends to keep those secrets to herself.

Phil is already planning our next vacation. He doesn’t want to go home because he doesn’t want to go back to work. I can’t blame him. I don’t really want to work either. But we must. So tomorrow we make our way back home.

I must take a moment to thank everyone who made this possible. I now not only have a passport, but it already has two stamps in it. I am looking forward to getting many more.