Metal Meredith

or How I Procrastinate

I think I have it down to a science now. I think I have truly mastered the art of putting things off until later.

It goes something like this:

*Take a good long hard inventory of what needs to be done. Make mental or even physical lists. Decide what gets done first and proceed from there.

*Decide to check email first. It is good to get it out of the way. Check all the links sent to you in retail store emails, go check out sales of furniture you can’t afford, clothes you can’t fit in to and baby items that are way past your toddler’s range of need.

*Since you are already in a web browser, check your message boards. Make sure you have read all the new posts since your last visit. Click links within boards and see where they take you. Go to click on “Mark All Posts As Read” link, but decide to check ONE MORE TIME if you missed any since browsing just now. Click link and close page.

*Decide to check Blogs as well. Open your bloglines and sigh loudly as you notice 20 blogs have new posts to read. Get to it. Check all gossip sites first. Check what Angelina and Brad are doing, what Paris is wearing, what K-Fed is up to. Then move on to the writers, with kids, without kids, with jobs, without jobs, political and just plain stupid.

*Check eBay auctions, check counter visits to my auctions, see you has paid and who I need to give feedback to. Check Paypal account to get warm fuzzy feeling because of the amount of money I make selling Madonna stuff. Make mental list of all the other things I need to put on eBay.

*Close all windows and programs and close my laptop. Open it, check email one more time. Close it again. Jump off sofa.

*Go into kitchen and get a piece of candy. Throw away wrapper, start to walk away. Backtrack and grab another, toss wrapper in trash and leave kitchen. Notice more trash on counter, throw it away, grab one more piece of candy and run out of kitchen.

*Go to the bathroom to toss last candy wrapper. Notice catbox smell and decide to give it a scoop. When done, wash hands and return to office. Notice bill on desk that wasn’t paid, pick it up and go to computer to pay online.

*see point #2 and start all over.

This really does outline a good 2 hour portion of my day at intervals of 8am, 2pm and 8pm. It amazes me how the time suck occurs. I know that people without computers or little interest get much more done. My friend Chris had replaced his water heater, ripped up carpet in half his house, pulled up his outdoor plants for the winter and probably found the cure for cancer in the time I have been on this thing.

I would like to believe that most of what I learn online is helping me in some way. It is hard to argue that with gossip sites though. It has, if nothing else, helped me realize how alike we all are in the world. The global community thing isn’t a lie. Of course, it doesn’t help clean my house, either.