Metal Meredith

When we moved in, we realized that the back door sucked. It is a wooden french door which I assumed was installed in 1977, when the house was built. It stuck, there was no keyed lock. The doorknob was hard to turn and required a slight lift up and then pull when opening or closing. There was one sliding bolt on one side of the doors and that was the only lock.

Last year, we had a new kitchen floor installed and with that, lost the threshold. Since the installation, we have lived with a rolled up towel and doormat as buffers from the 2 inch gap that leads to the outside. We have experienced more spiders and bugs than I care to acknowledge. We all dealt with freezing toes over the winter and chilly ankles from the drafts. Once, during a heavy rainstorm, there was a small river flowing into the kitchen from under the door.

I finally threatened Phil enough (and then bribed him with a Wii) to call the nice handyman and fix the damn door. This weekend, all of my wishes were realized. Behold, my new (albeit 2 inch shorter) back door. It has locks! It has a threshold! It has an easy open and close handle! There is no breeze, no draft and no illegal critters appearing from underneath. 

ARGH!

Why do we need an International Talk Like a Pirate Day?
Make no mistake. We do. But it’s a little hard to articulate why, especially when you’ve made the mistake of referring to your wife as a scurvy bilge rat and tried to order her back into the galley. Talking like a pirate is fun. It’s really that simple.

It gives your conversation a swagger, an elán, denied to landlocked lubbers. The best explanation came from a guy at a Cleveland radio station who interviewed us on the 2002 Talk Like a Pirate Day. He told us we were going to be buried by people asking for interviews because it was a “whimsical alternative” to all the serious things that were making the news so depressing.

In other words, silliness is the holiday’s best selling point.

The whole house is quiet. Not because everyone is gone, but because everyone is sick and sleeping it off. Joy.

Monday started with Henry having a bad night’s sleep. He woke up and exploded 4 diapers before 9am. I knew it wasn’t good. Just as things were getting to a point where I was about to cry myself, I revisited 22 ounces of milk, which had been miraculously morphed into cottage cheese in its short and unsuccessful journey through my son’s digestive track. Thankfully, that was my only meeting with vomit that day. Ten more diapers, two naps and lots of cuddles later, Henry was sleeping.

On Tuesday, I had a hair appointment which was the highlight of my day. I dropped a now recovered Henry off at his school and had a lovely hour alone with grown ups. On the way to get Henry, the GPS exploded when I plugged it in. Spark - smoke - dead. I retrieved a tired Henry and took him home for a nap.

We got Vivienne from school and had teeth checkups for both kids. Vivienne still had her previous 3 cavities but no more. However, no insurance = $285 for 2 kids. Fillings would run $630, to be paid up front with no insurance. The nice billing lady apparently took pity on me and suggested I come in the next day (today) to get these done. She also promised to work out a payment plan for all of the charges from yesterday and today. When I went up to make arrangements today, she whispered “Just go” and waved me on to get Vivienne and leave. We are good for the money, but how much do I want that bill to be ‘lost’.

On to dinner, where the chicken nuggets were smoking an awful lot in the toaster over only to realize that the heating element was on fire and I somehow managed to kill another appliance that day. Phil came home, Henry had another icky blowout. I headed off to eat dinner with friends. Had a lovely time despite the sniffles and runny nose.

Arrived home at 10pm to find all lights out and husband unusually in bed already. He informed me that he just lost his dinner and felt like poop. He spent last night making trips to and from the bathroom, groaning in pain and snoring.

So as you can see, I am pretty darn happy to be in a quiet house, even for just a few hours. 

I haven’t had the time to sit and pound out some profound thoughts, as no doubt everyone expects from me (NOT.) So you will have to settle for a mini-update.

Vivienne LOVES school. She has made a few friends and is very proud of herself for learning their names this week: Allison and Julia. There is also a boy names Sam and another girls named Hannah. She is reluctant to wake up at 615am each morning, but who in this house isn’t? It only takes a few minutes for her to perk up and find her energy reserves. Of course, by the end of the day she has morphed into Super-Jerk and is a bear to deal with. Poor Henry just wants to play with her and she wants to avoid the very sight of him. Vivienne also lost one more tooth this week. She was elated.

This week, Henry started going to his playgroup at Vivienne’s old preschool. He had loads of fun but was so over-stimulated the first day, he was unable to take a nap. He drew with chalk, painted on chalkboard with water, played with trucks and a tea set, read books and played with a sand table. He was outside and inside and enjoyed a snack with Josiah, Averie and Gianna, his playgroup buds. I bought him his first Thomas train, (which I will avoid from this point forward lest I get further into debt - they are $20 a piece!!) which is named Henry. He has kept that little thing in his grip every day since we bought it. It has gone to nap and bed with him each day and has only been out of his site when he is in playgroup.

Phil took on the giant task of painting his new office space. I thought he was nuts but it clearly made him happy. Today he gets some new office furniture delivered. Hopefully these changes will make the work faster and easier. He is swamped.

I thoroughly enjoyed my first two days of solitude. The first one, I ran all the errands I had been avoiding dragging my kids to. The next I worked at the school downloading photos and organizing the albums online. It was just nice to not have to worry about the next diaper change or if my kids were licking outlets or eating bugs.