Metal Meredith

I was so enthused on Wednesday. On Tuesday night, Phil and I sat with computers on our laps, refreshing Virginia results every minute or so, while switching from CNN to NBC in order to get away from commercials. We stayed there from about 745pm until 11pm, when Obama was called as the projected winner. I watched John McCain deliver a lovely speech and saw in him what I liked all along, that had been hidden from view for a few months. He is a hero and someone I thoroughly respect.

We went upstairs and watched Obama’s acceptance speech. I cried more than a few times. My heart swelled with pride, love, hope, thankfulness and relief. Although I didn’t sleep much, I slept well. At 6am, much to my surprise, I woke with wide eyes and a huge smile. It truly was the dawn of a new era.

All day on Wednesday I could barely contain the joy. I knew the need to be respectful, calm and collected in the face of those felt defeated. I didn’t bring it up, didn’t brag or cheer. I was quiet outside but inside I was losing control. I still, 2 day later find myself grinning for no reason. I will see a sign on a car and feel full of pride, once again. It is like riding waves on the ocean.

Sometime on Wednesday, even though I pretty much knew the outcome on Tuesday night, it became clear that California would pass Prop 8, which seeks to make all marriages only between a man and a woman. I have written about this subject time and time again. I have researched and tried my best to listen to those that oppose it and try to imagine it from their side. We have had a pretty heated discussion on my message board about it today and I am still left cold by some of the comments. These are people that I respect, admire and consider friends. How can they not see how plainly wrong it is to continue to discriminate?

I think most everyone who knows me, knows that I am not a religious person. I have my beliefs and I push them onto no one. In years past I might have judged someone harshly for their beliefs, but at this point in my life I fully respect others beliefs and religions. There are things that I do not agree with, but that is what makes life great, no?

This election has brought out some disturbing sides of so many people that I know and call friends that I am unsure where to head now. I am not very good at forgetting, better at forgiving. I am still trying to reconcile the two in my brain. However, how do you go back to a relationship with someone who shows signs of bigotry? Hatred? Who categorize others’ civil rights by the sex of the person they are in love with? Who is terrified of helping someone that might need it because someone else who might not need it could be helped, too?

Five years ago, I could never imagine how people could think the way they did about the Iraq war. Or, I was amazed that any woman could deny another woman’s right to choose how she uses her own body. Since then, I have done my own kind of soul searching and found that if I listen, I can hear a lot of what someone is saying and even step into their shoes for a short walk. But that can only take me so far.

I will admit that I don’t get the arguments against gay marriage. Christians, do you want the word “marriage” back? Then by all means, take it. I never asked to be in a union with your God. I have a commitment with my husband and no one else. I would happily be in a civil union, would that have been offered to me. If I give you that word back, can the rest of us have the rights without your blessing? That is all they want, you know. To love, cherish and honor their partners for the rest of their lives, just like I do. How my heart aches for those who can’t see their love recognized like mine. I can’t imagine the pain.