Metal Meredith

Yep. It is a whole post about my boobs. I would call them breasts, but that makes me uncomfortable. Not sure why, it just makes them seem so fancy.

Last week I shared these 11 sentences about my boobs to my good friends on the SNDM message board:

1. I love my boobs.

2. Even though they become flat and oblong when I don’t have a bra on.

3. When I do have a bra on, WATCH OUT.

4. They are high and proud, round and luscious.

5. I keep looking down at them.

6. It isn’t hard to figure out why boys like them.

7. Even gay men like them.

8. I used to get hugs from everyone because of them and I was ok with that.

9. Most people that meet me have met them.

10. I am not shy about the low cut shirts.

11. I have now completed 11 sentences about my boobs.

Wasn’t that special? Now, later that night I was in the bathroom with Vivienne while she was brushing her teeth. She was, as is the norm, trying to poke, punch or smack my chest even though I often tell her that they are a ‘private part’ that isn’t for anyone to touch but me. So she grabbed her own chest and said “Fine, I will grab my own boobies.” Then, after laying a flat hand on her tiny 4 year old chest, she proclaimed “But Mom, my boobies aren’t long like yours.”

Long. Yep, long is the word she used to describe them. Not big or huge or squishy, but long. Luckily, I am a realist and know that to be true. Thanks genetics!

1. Day three of tonsil removal sucks more than day one.

2. Older sisters hate their little brothers with the passion of 1,000 suns when they don’t feel well.

3. Little girls can hate their moms just as much as their brothers but still want them by their side 24/7.

4. Being by a sick child 24/7 can make anyone into a raving lunatic.

5. Bad breath is not a pleasant side effect of tonsil removal.

6. Spring Break is next week and I am dreading that now, too.

7. I wish it was me that had tonsils removed because I would be guaranteed more sleep.

8. I just really want to leave the house.

9. Henry needs new shoes now that he is walking more and more.

10. That is what I really want to be doing.

11. Instead, I am watching Sesame Street and making threats in order to get Vivienne to ingest chewable grape tablets of Tylenol. 

1. I hate to fly.

2. In Phil’s words, “The whole city looks like it needs a good power washing”.

3. I wish I had more time to spend here, and much more money.

4. I hardly miss my kids today.

5. Phil is almost sleeping on the bed right now as I am feeding my computer addiction.

6. All I want to do here is eat.

7. It is pretty cold and eve snowed a little bit.

8. Phil wants me to walk the 8 blocks to the theater tonight.

9. It will be 25 tonight and windy when we have to walk home.

10. I think he is nuts.

11. I am so excited to go see this play!

1. Henry is talking on his phone and it is making me laugh.

2. I think he is speaking Dutch.

3. Virginia’s Pro-breastfeeding commercials make me angry.

4. Someone complimented me on my car yesterday and I found myself gushing.

5. Someone complimented Henry on his shoes the other day and I did the same thing.

6. Apparently, I get off on people recognizing my good decisions.

7. I keep wondering how my Dad’s house is.

8. Vivienne won’t stay in bed in the morning, even though we bought her an $80 clock to help her know when it is time to wake up.

9. It makes Phil and I really grumpy in the morning.

10. Vivienne and Henry played and laughed a lot this morning, which turned my mood around quickly.

11. I have a list of things to do and I know once they are done the knot in my stomach will go away (and it has been there for about a year).