Metal Meredith

This year has been unlike any other year. The past few, we could get away with buying gifts while she was with us, speaking about gifts with her next to us, buying gifts for each other with her right there. Not now though, it has really clicked this year.

At first, it was obvious that she understood the concept of Christmas this year. But I think that we talked about the new baby coming and used Christmas as an end point for her to grasp how far away the baby was. Seemingly overnight, we went from a slow Christmas crawl to break-neck warp speed.

Last weekend, we were begged, prodded, whined at and pleaded with until we finally agreed to put up the tree. At first, all the ornaments gathered in one 2 ft x 4 ft spot. We took many photos to commemorate her height this year.

This is the final product.

Several time between the weekend and last night we took her out to see some lights on houses. You would have thought that lights were invented THIS YEAR and that no where else in the universe has this poor child laid eyes on Rudolph, Santa, and friends. She shrieks “Mommy, Daddy, I see Santa! I see Rudolph, I see a Snowman! Look over here, look over there!” Riding in the car with her becomes a challenge to not barf from motion sickness.

Tonight, she asked what I was getting for Christmas and then announced that it would be roller skates. Phil gets a new teddy bear and a green watch. Lucky him. What I do know and what I realized tonight, is that I hardly remember gifts that I got from one year to the next. I do remember getting a bicycle, an electronic keyboard and a stuffed panda bear. Other than that, the memories are more of the day itself.

For most of them, I remember family being in the house. My uncle, who couldn’t be bothered to get up at a kid friendly hour, kept us all at bay while he showered. We kept ourselves sequestered in our rooms as to not see the gifts Santa had left under the tree. Mom would brew coffee and we would sit in the living room, passing out gifts one by one. Grandma, Grandpa, Uncle Ken, sister, mom, dad, me and the dogs. It was pure chaos but so much fun!

So, when worrying that we didn’t buy Vivienne the perfect gift, I have reminded myself more than once that in the end, it doesn’t matter. If we can make the day wonderful, get her excited (which she obviously doesn’t need help with) and focus on being a family, her memories of the day will outweigh any gifts that might cross her path.

I just realized that it has been almost one month since I updated. I am feeling bad about that for no other reason than I do read other’s blogs daily and realize that they all have been so good about posting on a frequent basis. In my absence, I have missed Halloween, a trip to DC, lots of Birthdays and now Thanksgiving. So maybe this will be a quick update on how all those things played out.

First: Halloween

Ms Vivienne was a sad sight on Halloween. The weekend before she had a fever and a bad cold. I had kept her home from school the Friday before only to need to keep her Monday just in case. She ended up missing her Halloween party at school. We didn’t carve pumpkins or make it to a real pumpkin patch (although she went to pick out some with her dad at a local church and thinks she went to a patch...so shhhhh). On Halloween afternoon, she came down with a 101.5 fever as I watched her lay on the sofa all pitiful-like and whine for her Dad. He came home and we went around in circles on whether or not to take her out. Her begging broke both of our hearts in about 12 pieces and finally, we took her to about a dozen houses. Phil took her to the door, she smiled while she waited for her treats, then tore down the walk or driveway to show me that “someone put candy in my bucket!!!”. Amazing how that works. By the time we were done, she was hopped up on sugar and forgot she was sick altogether.

Second: Barenaked Ladies

I am still not sure why I thought it a good idea to drive to DC and see a concert at 7 months pregnant, but it turned out ok. We got there a bit late and missed a few songs, but our Outback dinner was so good that we were having problems tearing ourselves away. The show was good, they are always amusing and make us laugh. A few short videos can be seen here. Kym and I had a nice visit, which was more important than the concert in the grand scheme. We were lucky enough (again) to get to say hello and catch up with the members of the band. After the initial pleasantries, we talked about family and kids and how time flies. When you have known people for 13 years but only see them every 2 or so, it is amazing how time just blows by. Kids seem to age five times faster than in real life and you age 3 years for every one that seems to pass. It was a nice treat and a welcome distraction from the pregnancy.

Third: Birthdays

November is always a tough time for me to budget money and time for everyone’s birthdays. I have to not only remember to acknowledge the day, but to get cards, gifts and have everything shipped by a certain date. In a one week span, I have 2 close friends, Phil and my mother to celebrate. In that week lies Thanksgiving as well. The one bright spot was my mother’s 60th birthday. She might be upset with me for sharing that number, but I am as proud as I can be that she has reached that milestone (relatively sane). My sister and I came up with the idea to get a portrait done of us and Vivienne, as well as making the hour and a half trek out to her house to surprise her. It was a raving success complete with tears and squeals and a super lunch of seafood kabobs (BONUS!). For the curious and the bored, videos can be seen here.

Phil shared his birthday with Thanksgiving, so after 3 days of ‘Is it Daddy’s Birthday yet?’, finally we could wake him up with a card and a big kiss, followed by a honey bun breakfast cake (complete with candles and singing), a few measly gifts and some hugs. While shopping for a gift, Vivienne wanted to buy him a hairdryer. I am sure anyone who knows Phil, sees the complete irony there (see photo at top of entry.) He is now a grown up 31 year old. Too bad the same can’t be said for Vivienne and I…

Fourth and Final: Thanksgiving

We spent our Thanksgiving in Williamsburg with Phil’s family. I was so looking forward to eating all that food that I don’t really remember much more. I know I did a lot of sitting on my butt and nothing else. Vivienne had a great time playing with the cousins and the tiny kitten, keeping busy with crafts and grandparents. I also caught more than one trip to the dessert table to steal some marshmallows before dinner. The worst part of the whole day was that this tiny human inside me was keeping me from really eating my fill in one sitting and I found myself heading back a few times for tiny refills on things I like rather than the traditional “pile of food on a plate”.

All in all November has been a busy month that just flew by. That is ok with me, because I only have about a month to go (a month and a half if I am being punished by the ‘this pregnancy isn’t that bad’ gods.) My next ultrasound is scheduled for December 22nd, which seems so far away. With Christmas shopping, decorating and keeping myself sane, I am sure the time will pass quickly and I will wish I had a few more quiet moments before a newborn crashes this party.

This July 4th was celebrated at my Mom’s farm, the same way we did it last year and I believe, the year before that. Long before I was married and had a kid of my own, we would celebrate the 4th at the compound of sorts occupied by my great aunts and uncles.

It is hard to explain, so I will just brush over it in hopes that I make sense, but my Grandfather’s 2 sisters married my Grandmother’s 2 brothers and moved right next door to each other. On the other side is another of Grandpa’s sisters, who dared to marry outside the family. They both have split level houses decorated in the 60s style of wood paneling and lots of fun (and very often tasteless) statues and signs around. Both couples have a “downstairs den” with a bar and big TVs.

In the true spirit of Baltimore, they enclosed their back yards into one big yard, with a kidney shaped pool, complete with slide, on one side and a vast expanse of grass and mexican pulling mule cart cement statues around. I loved it there. All of the relatives would pile into both houses. There would be tables set up with paper thin table clothes, every covered dish imaginable including all of the favorites like deviled eggs, potato salads, baked beans, cole slaws, and more. Someone would man the grill, often many someone’s, all in black socks, sandals and gripping a cold beer.

There were tons of kids, my cousins I suppose. I recognized all the adults but couldn’t tell you who they all belonged to and what relation that meant they were to me. We would eat, swim, play, eat, and then watch fireworks set off in the third back yard.

This year was a bit more tame. Grandpa turned 84 this year, which he will tell you gives him 3 months equal in age to his bride. Therefore, he told me, she isn’t allowed to boss him around until October, when she turns 85. Of course, he tells me this every year and I am not sure it ever works. We had a good time swimming and playing with Vivienne, while Grandma and Grandpa sat under the umbrella and watched us act like idiots in the pool. Good times, I am sure.

Sadly, I spent a good 2 hours of it under a blanket with a towel on my head trying to get rid of one of those pounding pregnancy headaches that don’t respond to medication. I still was able to swim in the early afternoon and had a little lunch. Phil, being the saint he is, kept everyone busy/happy until it was time to go.

Just as quick note, this July 4th marked the 10 year anniversary of the day I knew I was in love with Phil. He took me to Yorktown, VA for fireworks and I just remember thinking that he was it for me. Thank goodness I was right. He sure puts up with a lot of my crap.

I never wanted to have kids when I was a teenager. I thought I couldn’t remove myself from my selfish behavior enough, nor could I share my future husband with anyone else. After I met Phil, I changed my mind. He was just cute enough that I wanted to see what we could make.

When pregnant with Vivienne, I very much wanted to glow. I wanted to be beautiful, sexy pregnant woman who wasn’t afraid to show her big ol’ stomach to the world. None of those things happened either. I was sick, I felt gross and ugly the entire time. I was exhausted and nauseous for most of the 9 months. So why would someone do that again, you ask? I have no idea. But we are.

I would love to say that seeing that positive test result filled me with joy and anticipation, but it didn’t. I would love to say that I am so looking forward to expanding my family, but I am not. Right now, it is just a fight to survive the next 7 months without getting sick each morning, without turning into a giant ball of acne, without replacing a smile with a series of yawns. I cannot look forward enough to decide what we will do with Vivienne when the time comes to go to the hospital. We haven’t given one second of thought to a nursery, to gadgets and gear, to child proofing and storage space.

As Vivienne grows older, I knew that I would find less things appealing about having a newborn, sleep deprivation, the ‘blob’ stage. And I have. It was a matter of ‘now or never’ rather than ‘when’. Vivienne impresses me each day with the things she says, information she retains and talks about later and her daily challenges for independence. When I told her she was going to be a big sister, she asked me what the baby’s name is. I had to tell her I didn’t know yet. She asked me if it was a boy or girl. Again I told her I didn’t know. She told me that we would “talk later about it more”. Um, sure.

So, if anyone would like to volunteer to come clean my house, make my family meals, play with my kid, and just generally take over for me for the next 6 or so months, I would appreciate it. Until then, I will just be curled up in my bed with a milkshake, cheese, pickles and some ginger ale.