Metal Meredith

Welcome to the Puke-atorium

A play by Meredith starring Meredith, Phil and Vivienne

Scene One: Wednesday afternoon

Vivienne wakes up at 3pm; Meredith is on the sofa by 4pm with a stomach ache and exhaustion. By 530, Meredith retires to the bed. Phil knows something is really wrong and looks on with concern. Vivienne and Phil play outside and then eat dinner. Phil gives Vivienne a bath while Meredith counts down the minutes until she can have the bathroom alone. (Such is life in a tiny, one bathroom house). Meredith hears Phil open the bathroom door then sprints in and revisits lunch.

Meredith: “Stomach Flu, How did you find me here?”

Stomach Flu: “Shut up and say hello to this afternoon’s spaghetti.” (Insert Evil Laugh Here)

Scene Two:  6 hours later

Meredith sleeps on the sofa until its time to get Phil up for the day. He goes into work for a half day.

530pm: Phone rings

Meredith: “Hello?”
Phil: “Hey, is there anything in the house you can eat instead of me bringing something home?”
Meredith: “Sure, why?”
Phil: “Tonight doesn’t look so good for me”

Scene Three: Same night 8pm

Meredith finishes up dinner and bath time only to be followed by the same scene as above. Phil will now take the part of the bathroom visitor and Meredith will be in the supporting role of well person caring for toddler. At 10pm, Meredith retires on the sofa and Phil to the bedroom (only to get up 4-5 more times).

Phil: “At last, Stomach Flu, we meet. I will teach you not to mess with a man!”
Stomach Flu: “(Evil Laugh Again)….Mwuhahaha….Silly boy…will you never learn!”

Scene Four: 230am, Vivienne’s Room

Meredith hears Vivienne cry and hopes that she will go right back to sleep. Upon hearing the noise she knows so well herself from the previous night, she goes in to find baby crying in a puddle of yuck. Mom, Dad and baby take a good hour to clean up, change sheets and get back to sleep. Vivienne rests comfortably the rest of the night and is otherwise unaffected.

Meredith: “Take that Stomach Flu!”
Stomach Flu: “Curses…Foiled Again!”

The End.