Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Quartet
I never wanted to have kids when I was a teenager. I thought I couldn’t remove myself from my selfish behavior enough, nor could I share my future husband with anyone else. After I met Phil, I changed my mind. He was just cute enough that I wanted to see what we could make.
When pregnant with Vivienne, I very much wanted to glow. I wanted to be beautiful, sexy pregnant woman who wasn’t afraid to show her big ol’ stomach to the world. None of those things happened either. I was sick, I felt gross and ugly the entire time. I was exhausted and nauseous for most of the 9 months. So why would someone do that again, you ask? I have no idea. But we are.
I would love to say that seeing that positive test result filled me with joy and anticipation, but it didn’t. I would love to say that I am so looking forward to expanding my family, but I am not. Right now, it is just a fight to survive the next 7 months without getting sick each morning, without turning into a giant ball of acne, without replacing a smile with a series of yawns. I cannot look forward enough to decide what we will do with Vivienne when the time comes to go to the hospital. We haven’t given one second of thought to a nursery, to gadgets and gear, to child proofing and storage space.
As Vivienne grows older, I knew that I would find less things appealing about having a newborn, sleep deprivation, the ‘blob’ stage. And I have. It was a matter of ‘now or never’ rather than ‘when’. Vivienne impresses me each day with the things she says, information she retains and talks about later and her daily challenges for independence. When I told her she was going to be a big sister, she asked me what the baby’s name is. I had to tell her I didn’t know yet. She asked me if it was a boy or girl. Again I told her I didn’t know. She told me that we would “talk later about it more”. Um, sure.
So, if anyone would like to volunteer to come clean my house, make my family meals, play with my kid, and just generally take over for me for the next 6 or so months, I would appreciate it. Until then, I will just be curled up in my bed with a milkshake, cheese, pickles and some ginger ale.
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Comments & Trackbacks
Hi Meredith -
I’d love to take you to lunch one day when Vivienne is at school. I do really feel your pain. I hated every second of pregnancy. The second time around it was that much better because of a kidney stone and food poisoning that lead to an infection and took the stupid doctors 4 weeks to diagnose. Add some high blood pressure and being told to “rest” while you have a two year old, and you’ve got one unhappy camper. I am happy for both you and Phil, and especially for Vivienne, but I completely understand your ambivalence and dread of what’s to come. Jenn and I will work even harder to send as much new business Phil’s way!
Well, I’m excited about it.
That’s super. Now, spend each morning doing nothing but trying not to barf and let me be the exctied one for a while.
Hey Mere, I am right there with ya, literally! I had figured out from a previous post on “S” blog that you were preg. I think we told her the same day! This one was totally unplanned for us and I continue to be in shock, as well as my brain is big jumbled blob of thoughts. Pretty much cahos...and yeah I am nauseous and such every day as well. So, just wanted to give a “shout out” and let you know you are not alone etc. Give me a holler some time!
Heather
I feel your pain...as you know my pregnancies were anything but glowing, guess you get it honestly. As for assisting, count me in. I’ll come to your house
and watch Vivienne while you’re in the hospital & take
over for you guys. I’ll take vacation and help you
with the day to day whenever you want...just yell at
me. I also, Phil, am very excited for both of you and
Vivienne.
Meredith,
I love you and I love your wit and all the shit you throw out. I love the fact that I get another beautiful granchild. I do not feel your pain or your nausea, but know that Nancy and I are ready do whatever it takes to see you through this wonderful, beautiful event. Jesus will watch over you, too.
I vividly remember your mother’s pregnancies. Hang in...seven months may seem a lifetime, but it’s just 234 days.
Love...Dad
Heather, thanks and congrats. This one was planned for us. How stupid I was. HA!
Mom, I will be taking you up on the hospital thing.
Dad, Thanks for reminding me about Jesus. You giant goober.
I have a vivian, and she has a sister. The 2nd pregnancy was hard, but watching the two of them plotting together is bloody priceless.
hang in there. At least you have an excuse to do silly things in public.