Friday, August 17, 2007
Surrendering To the Poop
I never thought it would happen. I remember reading about a friend, her day of hell potty training her 4 year old and hoped and hoped we would never have to do that.
For those of you not close enough to us, Vivienne STILL will not poop in the toilet. Each time, she asks for a pull up or goes and gets one herself. When she is done, she comes and tell us, gets wipes and a plastic bag and brings them to us to clean her up. We have tried every single thing you can think of to get her to change. Bribery, arguing, begging and even guilt and praise doesn’t work.
Last week, Phil asked me what else we can do to get her to go because he was fed up with it (mind you, he changes only 2 of her poop diapers a week, if that). I talked to her on Friday about what we could do to make her more comfortable. She was rational and asked to try to go on the toilet. She sat there for 20 minutes, whining and complaining but being too stubborn to, well, shit or get off the pot. Finally I had to force her to go get a diaper instead of sitting there trying her best not to poop while attempting to convince me she was trying.
I did one more sweep of the internet search engines and came up with nothing new. As a last resort, I popped onto the Babycenter Toilet Training board and read a thread of other people having this same problem. After reading those, I decided that it wasn’t Vivienne’s problem, it was mine. The worst being the stigma of having a 4 yr old not able to be potty trained, the embarrassment of telling grandparents and in laws that they have to change her diaper if she spends more than one night with them. But again, my problem, not hers.
So I let it go. I told Phil to let it go. I took a deep breath and walked away. She will do it when she is ready. She knows we are ready.
She has not asked to try on the toilet again. She tells me about a far away time and place called “when I poop on the potty” where there are unicorns and rainbows, everyone eats at Chuck E Cheese all the time and gets all the toys they ask for. Where she is a princess and when she sits on the toilet, angels sing and bluebirds bring her glitter filled pieces of toilet paper. It sounds so nice, even I want to go there.
I am waving the white flag...or maybe a pole with a diaper on it.
Comments & Trackbacks
i was giggling a bit at this post. it’s actually funny - at least the way you wrote it. i’m sure you’ve tried not giving her the diaper. my sister in law had the same issue, and her son would HOLD IT for over a week until she gave in to the diaper. he was seriously, uh, impacted, if you know what i mean. i think for your sanity you are wise to just let go. when her friends start making fun of her because her butt looks big in her prom dress, she’ll poop on the potty!!! just kidding
Knowing Vivienne, she would want to just wear a Victorian-style dress with a bustle (we didn’t name her Vivienne {think Westwood} for nothing!)
The last time we decided it was time to go cold turkey on the diapers, she held it for 7 days. After that, it was 2 weeks of hell trying to get her to go again AT ALL.
No thanks.
Bribery worked for us. A big chart with exes for each “time” and the treat of her choosing at the end.
BUT, every kid is different. If she thinks she can hold it over your head, sounds like she will.
Are we SURE they aren’t twins, cause man, yours sounds a LOT like mine. But with cute hair.
I laugh at your innocence!
No, really, we have promised the child anything her little mind can come up with. When she sees something on TV, she tells us that ‘one day, when I poop in the potty’ she will get said toy, day at specific park/beach/playground/amusement park, outfit, DVD/CD/Video game.
She begged and pleaded for Whack-A-Mole the game, so we bought it and perched it high above the toilet so she could stare at it when she was trying. It was there for 6 months when I finally just shoved it in her closet...STILL SEALED IN THE BOX.
Bribery, nada.
Well, I suppose Buddha will be impressed at your resolve to surrender....